Are you tired of chasing happiness and meaning, only to feel like you're running in place? An expert says there's another path – one that might just lead you to a truly good life.
Most of us are taught to equate a 'good life' with success, productivity, and that elusive feeling of happiness. But according to Shigehiro Oishi, a renowned happiness expert and psychology professor at the University of Chicago, it's time to rethink this equation. He suggests that constantly striving for these traditional markers can actually leave us feeling more empty than fulfilled.
Oishi recently shared his insights on the "10% Happier with Dan Harris" podcast, diving into the two paths that people often believe lead to a good life: happiness and meaning. He describes happiness as a state of feeling "comfortable, secure, and content." Meaning, on the other hand, is a bit more complex, comprising three key elements: a sense that your life matters, a feeling that your life is guided by purpose, and a belief that the various roles you play in life fit together coherently.
While these paths can undoubtedly bring fulfillment, Oishi argues that relentlessly pursuing them can also lead to a sense of being trapped. You might think, "If I just achieve this, then I'll be happy." Or, "If I can only find my purpose, then my life will have meaning." But here's where it gets controversial... Oishi points out that many Americans are stuck on what's called the "hedonic treadmill." They're constantly striving for the next achievement, the next promotion, the next big thing, but they never actually feel satisfied. It's a never-ending cycle of wanting more.
And this is the part most people miss... When it comes to meaning, the pressure to make a tangible difference in the world can be overwhelming. We compare ourselves to historical figures like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. or Mother Theresa and think, "I could never achieve that level of impact." This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a sense that a meaningful life is simply out of reach.
Furthermore, Oishi highlights the potential pitfalls of becoming overly invested in a single cause, to the exclusion of others. He uses the current political climate as an example, suggesting that the intense pursuit of specific meanings can lead to division and intolerance. Isn't it interesting how the very thing we hope will unite us can sometimes drive us further apart?
So, what's the alternative? Oishi proposes a third path: psychological richness.
What exactly is a psychologically rich life? It's a life filled with interesting, diverse, and perspective-shifting experiences. Think of it as a portfolio of stories, rather than a bank account of material possessions. While some people focus on material wealth – fancy cars, big houses – Oishi suggests substituting dollars with personal experiences.
How do you cultivate psychological richness? It's simpler than you might think. It could involve visiting new places, diving into novels, exploring different genres of movies, or immersing yourself in new hobbies. The key is to step outside your comfort zone and embrace the unfamiliar.
"Experience some interesting things, but make it a story," Oishi advises. "Writing and talking about it is really important." It's not enough to simply have the experience; you need to process it, reflect on it, and share it with others.
For example, if you've recently discovered a love for foreign films, don't just watch them passively. Discuss them with friends, write reviews, or even start a film club. By actively engaging with your experiences, you're embedding them in your psychological portfolio.
Interestingly, even difficult moments like a divorce or a job loss can contribute to psychological richness. While these events may negatively impact happiness in the short term, they can have long-term positive effects on your sense of psychological richness. "If you have this psychological richness mindset, what matters is whether you learned something new [or] whether you gained some insight into your life."
After experiencing a setback, Oishi recommends journaling about it to find the silver lining or lesson. Talking about the situation with loved ones can also offer different perspectives and help you to make sense of what happened.
Oishi emphasizes that psychological richness isn't about replacing happiness or meaning; it's about adding another dimension to your life. It's a way to find fulfillment even when things aren't perfect, and it's a reminder that even challenging experiences can contribute to your growth and understanding.
"A lot of people are struggling to find meaning in their lives or finding true happiness, and they are trying really hard," Oishi says. "Maybe for them, psychological richness might be actually the type of life they've been pursuing."
Ultimately, Oishi encourages us to view psychological richness as "one more way to a path to a good life, rather than this is the path to a good life." It's about expanding your horizons, embracing new experiences, and finding meaning in the journey itself.
So, what do you think? Is psychological richness the missing ingredient in your quest for a good life? Could embracing new experiences, even challenging ones, lead to a more fulfilling existence? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Want to level up your AI skills? Sign up for Smarter by CNBC Make It's new online course, How To Use AI To Communicate Better At Work. Get specific prompts to optimize emails, memos and presentations for tone, context and audience.
Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life, and request to join our exclusive community on LinkedIn to connect with experts and peers.
